Hang in there.

You know you can do it.

Don’t just envy other people’s art styles and skills; don’t fret over your art exam marks; don’t worry over being left behind in terms of skills; don’t be self-conscious about your art. Learn how others improve their art; develop new ways to progress further.

Find all the mistakes in your art; improve them; keep practicing in your free time; don’t just draw headshots, full-bodies of characters(with clothes on, duh), or scenes that you want to happen for your characters; don’t fret over the mistakes.

Make sure not to put your studies aside; study hard to get in a good university/college; work hard to achieve what you want; and believe in yourself.

Now that I’ve said it, self; you better start believing that it is possible even though it looks like there’s no hope for you.

Some are unconfirmed. :l

• Grell Sutcliff (Kuroshitsuji)
• Kishitani Shingen (Durarara!!)
• Mori Motonari (Sengoku BASARA)
• Tsuruhime (Sengoku BASARA)
• Otomo Sorin (Sengoku BASARA)
• Date Masamune (Sengoku BASARA)
• Date Masamune(pop’n music 18 // SENGOKU RETSUDEN)
• Sen no Rikyu (Sengoku Gyojin Dullahan)
• Shirogane Oushirou (Starry Sky)
• Kaito (VOCALOID // Eager Love Revenge)
• Kagamine Len (VOCALOID // Eager Love Revenge)
• Kagamine Len (VOCALOID // Sandplay of Singing Dragon)

Hahah, I admit— I overestimated myself.

I thought myself to be superior in what I’m good in. I thought I’m the best of the best, the cream of the crop.

But that’s just me being overconfident, egoistic and arrogant.

And this is one of my many flaws.

But I don’t reject it.

I’ll turn this flaw into an advantage.

I will use it as my motivation to become better at what I want to be good in.

I admit— I thought that even if that person is good, I will be better.

But then I realized— that I’m just like them, maybe even worse.

I shouldn’t have looked down on them.

But, in a way, it made me realize that I shouldn’t be looking at other people’s art; finding faults, etc. I should be analyzing over my own mistakes and making sure that I don’t repeat them again.

I should’ve concentrated on improving my own art instead of looking at other people’s art.

Oh well.

After all, sometimes people need to face the harsh truth/be beaten up to know that they’re not good enough.

So that they’d realize that they should do something and improve themselves.

Sorry.

ummmm something random.

You’re so sensitive. You always think you’re right. You always manage to piss me off with one single sentence. You always put people down(unintentionally or intentionally, I don’t know). You’re weak.

I hate you— but why do I care so much for you?

Sometimes, when you’re broken; I just want to fix you. I just want to make things right for you, as a friend; because I want to be able to do things that I might not be able to in real life.

I’m a useless person in real life, that’s why I want to be useful to you, over virtual reality.

I admit- obsessing over 2D characters and fantasizing about ourselves in the manga/anime/fantasy world is both our flaws. But you’re taking it too far- you’re starting to compare yourself to anime characters; saying that you’re like them even if you’re NOT.

I admit- we both find characters who are mentally troubled or emotionally troubled attractive and charming. But it’s not that cool when it comes to real life. Even if we find a character very cool and badass in the story, we might find a person with the exact same characteristics annoying in real life.

That’s why- if you like that kind of thing in stories, be prepared to like it as well in real life. It’s not that different- it’s just how we see it.

And if you wanted to kill yourself, you would’ve done something that would guarantee your death by 100%- maybe like stabbing a knife through your heart, or jumping off a 20-storey building, instead of consuming pills.

Then again, committing suicide is a stupid thing. You think it’s an escape from everything- but you’ll only cause pain to everyone else who loves you, who cares for you. You’re wasting your life that your parents gave you; you’re wasting your life who millions of others in poorer countries want.

And- having a mental disorder is NOT cool. It’s a serious matter; it’s not something to be happy/proud about. I’m not saying that people having mental disorders should be ashamed of it or anything; rather that what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t go flaunting it around and acting like it’s cool to be psychotic or mentally troubled.

Stop telling me that you have bipolar disorder and telling me about your episodes of breaking things in anger, or about your attempts to commit suicide. I don’t care if you can break a hard plastic bottle with your bare hands or if you threw stuff at your friends; I care about you. I don’t know if that story of yours is even true.

If you’re so troubled, GET HELP. Stop waiting for others to come help you. I’ve said it once before- help yourself, others can only help by supporting you. And also allow others to help you, not wait for them to help you.

I’m sorry I can’t do much- it’s not like I can go through computer screens and give you a hug or take a flight to your house to comfort you. This is the internet- I can’t do things like that.

Conclusion: Don’t just talk, ACT.

uuuurgh. *is prepared to meet criticism*

Before you moved away, when we were still friends and in contact with each other, I thought you were the most bitchiest person on Earth.

Even though you were not the most pleasant to be around with, I could be myself around you; I didn’t have to lie to myself or pretend to be someone I’m not.

I could open up to you; confide my secrets and problems to you, even though I might have burdened you too much. 

But now that you’re not here, I have to admit- I miss you.

I miss having you around, listening to your random stories; your laughter; and sometimes getting hit for no reason.

And you’re the most straightforward person I’ve met in my life- In a way, I guess that’s kind of a good thing. Better to know the truth than to live a lie.

Never have I felt so alone when just one person moves far, far away from where I am. Okay, maybe I did, when my mum passed away.

Well, long story short… I really, really miss you.

Come back?

Ummm random thoughts. Skip if you don’t feel like reading.

To a certain someone online on dA(you should know that I’m talking about you. Just saying/typing your name makes me want to uproot a lamp post and hit you with it): URGH I don’t care whether you get hurt from what I say.

WARNING: If you do not want to read a rant/emo rant/random emo-beating-self-up post, I advise you to close the window/tab immediately, or scroll up/down to the next post or something.

I must attempt at making this doll one day.

*melts at cuteness*